I promise…to never, to always, no matter what.
Promises are good. Promise-keeping is even better. But, when we set up the promise unrealistically, we sometimes get into trouble on delivery.
Making a promise involves risk. Since we can’t see or sometimes even imagine all eventualities, we can paint ourselves into a corner of guilt and resentment with unrealistic guarantees.
Think of it this way. It takes two. Both parties have expectations.
For instance, “I promise to never put you in a nursing home.” Or, “I promise that we will never move until you graduate.” Or maybe, “I will make sure you get that next promotion.”
While these are noble aspirations, it is possible that at some point due to unforeseen circumstances, shortage of funds, or severity of condition, you might have to break that promise.
Alternatively, what if those promises looked like this? “I promise to provide the best care that we possibly can.” Or, “We will do our best to keep you in these schools.” Or even, “If you keep working hard and providing good leadership, you will certainly be in the conversation as positions open up.”
When both parties meet their end of the bargain, and realize expected results, it is time to celebrate! But sometimes, things happen along the way that we hadn’t anticipated.
So, choose your words wisely when making promises. Acknowledge the expectations or responsibilities of each side. And do your best to deliver.
Worth Repeating
Your ordinary acts of love and hope point to the extraordinary promise that every human life is of inestimable value.
–Desmond Tutu
