The challenge of saying and doing in sickness
No one says it right every time and no one does the right thing all the time.
But, care scenarios are still sensitive. And so we try to get it right. We attempt to be there when we should and do what needs to be done and say the right words.
Sometimes we do; sometimes we don’t. I have officiated about 30 funerals in my life, and I always encourage the primary family member to simply receive. Receive the hugs, receive the food, receive the words of comfort. And, I remind them that some people will say the right words and some will totally botch it.
But, listen to their heart if the words get in the way. They’re trying to say the right thing. And so it is in life as well.
If you are in a care situation, whether patient or family member, you might consider these guiding principles;
1. Be there. Even if you don’t know what you’re supposed to do, be there. As often as you can, be there.
2. More love, less theology. I hear more people say hurtful things as they attempt to describe why this happened and what the purpose of it all is. Lay off. You don’t know and neither do I. So focus on expressing love. As it turns out, love is the best theology.
3. Love comes in many forms. Talk about the good times, great memories, shared experience. Food, cards, offers of specific, practical help, hugs, tears, and million other things express love in a tough situation.
Saying and doing the right things in a sickness scenario is challenging. But, it’s worth the attempt.
Worth Repeating
I follow three rules: Do the right thing, do the best you can, and always show people you care.
-Lou Holtz
