Glimpses #2
“Do you have a minute? Can I tell you what happened a few nights ago?” she asked as she peered into my office.
“Sure, come on in,” I offered (as we did so easily prior to Covid). Her husband had been living with Parkinson’s for around 20 years. They were at our office for him to engage in our free voice therapy group. Caregivers often converse in our lobby in their unofficial support group, and we thoroughly enjoy these interactions. This story, however, she wanted to share more privately.
“We had a rough time a few nights ago,” she stated bluntly, but carefully. “He gets so agitated and confused these days with the dementia. This night, EVERYTHING went wrong. It was just awful. He made a mess; we got so mad at each other; and finally we fell asleep.”
She continued, “When I woke up, later than usual, something was in my face. It was a sticky note, and it said ‘I love you.’ Then, I noticed that there was another sticky note on the floor that led to a trail of sticky notes out of the bedroom and down the hall.”
Tears welled up in her eyes as she described what happened next. “I could hear him banging around in the kitchen as I picked up the sticky notes. They all said things like ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘You are so good to me,’ ‘Thank you.’ By the time I got to the kitchen and saw the new mess that he was creating, I didn’t care. We just hugged each other and cried.”
“Then, we went to the Braum’s drive-thru to get breakfast because nothing he had cooked was edible,” she laughed. “Even though this may be the hardest time in our marriage of over 50 years, this may also be one of the nicest things he has ever done.”
Wow. This is Love Language Sticky Note Hall of Fame material. Just incredible. To be fair, the husband worked as a minister for decades, so he was good with words, even as Parkinson’s dementia robbed him of his eloquence. The wife and caregiver is one of the most genuinely kind individuals I have ever met.
And every time I tell this story, I get a lump in my throat and remember that the people in my world need me to articulate my love and appreciation too…even if it is on a sticky note.
Worth Repeating
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
-Audrey Hepburn
