Going Deeper #2
Accept or deny? Our facial expression, body language, words, and attention communicate to people whether we accept them or deny them.
Think of the 5 people you spend the most time being around. These are probably family members and perhaps some co-workers or friends.
Do they thrive in your presence or wilt? Do they come alive or shut down? Sure, most of this is up to them. But your presence serves as a catalyst for the potential of the relationship. Here are 3 simple but crucial ideas:
- Accept them in your mind first. Seriously, think about one of these people. Do they bug you or do difficult things sometimes? Certainly. So do you. But, can you accept them rather than reject them? Can you find their beauty? Look past the surface to see their better motivations. Work to appreciate their uniqueness and decide to accept them.
- Listen to them. I know, I know, some of them have a lot to say. Some of them don’t say much at all. Listen to that. Just listen. Listen deeply. Hear what they care about. Listen until the smile of appreciation emerges on your face.
- Act on acceptance. You might hug them or perhaps offer to help them with something they’re doing. You could give them a small gift, or just offer to buy them a coffee. You might put your acceptance into words. You could even create a special experience, adventure, or date. But, act on your acceptance of this person.
There is a balance of power in all relationships. The abuse of that power is common, though not usually intentional. When a person senses that they have been manipulated, controlled, demeaned or disrespected in subtle or blatant ways, they begin to opt out and who can blame them? The refreshing winds of unconditional love can begin to turn this around and heal the relationship. When you can simply accept a person as they are and you don’t need them to do what you want them to do or be how you want them to be, you are offering the nurturing soil of acceptance.
Simple, but challenging. You can love people better by intentionally accepting them as they are.
Worth Repeating
There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves.
-Elizabeth Gilbert
