She confused me.
Talented, smart, and decisive, she infused the air around her with energy and kindness. So, I kept recruiting her to help me.
And, she continually declined. Politely.
Finally, I convinced her to help lead a project. She brought creativity and bold vision to the renovation. Utilizing the best volunteers, she delivered above expectations in quality and within less than the time we had anticipated.
It was during the course of this project that I learned about her multiple autoimmune diseases. As my wife and I sat in her living room talking one day, she explained to us the essential art of saying, “No.”
“I have a limited amount of energy, so I must choose to pour that limited amount of energy into my top priorities,” she explained. “I have had to learn to say ‘No’ so I can say ‘Yes.'”
In a mutual caregiving situation, she cared for her husband with his troubles as he cared for her. And their use of this principle helped both of them deflect unnecessary guilt and enjoy a better quality of life.
Sometimes the question is not what should you start doing, but rather, what should you STOP doing.
Worth Repeating
Learn to say “no” to the good, so you can say “yes” to the best.
-John Maxwell
