Glimpses #1
A reflection from our “pre-illness” trip to the gritty sands of Galveston Island, Texas in late 2001 captures the essence of this both/and notion.
Three months pregnant with our daughter and not yet showing, I did what any sensitive husband would do. I scheduled a quick beach getaway with my pregnant wife. On this trip, we exercised a peaceable rhythm for mornings. After several trips together in our young marriage, we had already discovered that we hold opposite values on how to vacation.
I awaken early…like 5:00 a.m. early…and ready to go explore. My wife strongly prefers sleeping in until 9:00 a.m. and relishing in an extended rest.
This trip would be no exception.
On the second morning, I eased out for an early morning jog on the beach. With gritty sand squishing through my toes and moist ocean air filling my lungs, I ran about a mile. Nearing the turn at the halfway mark, I paused to consider the paradox that was quickly engulfing me.
To the west, a dark, threatening storm was rolling into the city with deep, billowing thunderclouds accented by frequent lightning. So, I decided to turn around. As I jogged to the east, I could see the sun beginning to peak up over the horizon.
Devastation and fear loomed heavily in one direction, while beauty and hope arose in the other. It was not either a dark, stormy day or a beautiful sunrise morning. It was both at the exact same time.
Just then, something caught my eye about fifty yards out in the ocean. Two dolphins were undulating their way up the coast, jumping in and out of the water. Standing on the beach in the middle of this great enigma, I interpreted this profound moment as a clear message of both/and. Dark, impending storm contrasted by the hope of a beautiful sunrise. I just stood there in the middle, bewildered, with two dolphins frolicking in the waves, seemingly unfazed. What a paradox!
Our journey of chronic illness and caregiving since 2004 has been similar and equally striking. Moments of great beauty and gratitude seem to be countered with impending disaster and devastation. It’s almost never either/or. Rather, almost always both/and.
Welcome to the struggle. On the same day, week, month and year that the most difficult things happen, you may also experience profound beauty, humor, and affirmation. I encourage you to join me in making peace with the paradox. Because as bad as some days or months can be, hope and beauty and joy can be manifested in an instant…whether by surprise or on purpose. Embrace the both/and.
Worth Repeating
Life is not either/or, it’s both/and.
-Royce White
